Thursday, 20 July 2017

In camera

I give thanks for another busy day defying medical science. For the GP I spoke to yesterday reminding me I have a history of this as well as having horrible things the matter with me! He's not perhaps the most obviously medical efficient of the team but he does have the most excellent patient handling skills...

I give thanks for heading off to the city on one of the first bus pass friendly services to recce some things I like to think I might need to buy in the not too distant future. Including a new camera. As I was just checking out options today not buying, I give thanks for my current one still working despite being covered in leaking hummus oil in my bag this afternoon. I stuck it out of the window when I got home and took this to be sure...

I give thank for finding home made hummus and cous cous salad in the farmer's market. For hearing possibly the best saxophone player ever, especially after turning the corner and finding this was a small grey haired woman of some advancing years! No reason why it shouldn't be, but I bet you didn't expect that either did you?

For meeting Mima for a nice lunch in cafe I've always wanted to go to and company on the way home, but that she understood my prefering to shop on my own. For her being willing to put up with me for half an hour longer after we parted and I found the pharmacy were still waiting for my meds...and making me a cup of tea. For my meds finally arriving! For having a little epiphany about huge problem. Still can't solve it by myself...but I've completely clarified what needs to be solved. Just waiting for the Universe to respond to my clarity and send in the serendipity...

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Water break

I was scared of being scared last night... when I'd finished pretending everything was all right, made tea and watched TV, read in the bath and gone to bed...scared when I put down the book and turned out the light that all the tears and fears would come. So I give thanks that's when the wonderful storm broke here, and I could open the curtains and watch the show and do my crying in the rain so to speak. In fact the thunder and lightning were so spectacular they made me laugh out loud as well...and I could drift off to sleep as they drifted away.

I give thanks so many people think I'm strong, that I plod along just fine with all the stuff I have to deal with they'd dread to have for themselves. It's easier for them that way, and in a way I guess it's easier for me too not having to worry about them worrying about me, or worry that they'd feel they ought to try to help somehow. I'd rather be a nought than an ought in others' lives...

I give thanks my original plan for today had been to go and out and do a lot of moving in a positive direction, not staying home miserably waiting for frightening phone calls (I'm supposed to keep my blood pressure low...have they no idea what they're doing to me?) I give thanks for giving in to a little breakdown instead lying on the sofa with soggy tissues, some silly TV movie to try to focus on...and then...once I heard the new appointment is four weeks away so I could relax a little again for a while...some warm egg mayo on ryvita (yum!)

I give thanks for today's mystery miracle which was - no water in the leak buckets! Where did all that storm rain that fell from the sky to the earth go??? For Julie agreeing to join me trying out something I've always wanted to do one afternoon next week. Best strike while the iron's high, I reckon (see, the dark humour is back) It's water related and somewhat outside my comfort zone. I give great thanks for that!

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Grey areas

Goodness me I was tired last night! Trying to improve my fitness levels does seem a lot like wearing myself out sometimes, but after a hearty vegetarian cottage pie and a long awaited acupuncture treatment it did mean I had a good long sleep for which I was very grateful! I give thanks for the pearly colours of the sea before I closed my eyes - long before darkness fell.

I give thanks for Julie giving me a lift to my blood test this morning and for brightening up my day with further excursions including a quest for vegan cake (which took in a lot of local venues before success)...and being there when I got home to a scary message about my last blood test! Apparently I should have had two letters by now and thus missed an appointment, but I was in the Post Office yesterday and they assured me they had no mail for me. Apart from abject terror I give thanks I still feel fine and am still busy arranging all kinds of unlikely activities to prove it...

I give thanks she too saw the amazing sea last night so it wasn't just a post acupuncture visual effect...and that we both saw the strangest one in the bay today as the rain came in. A ship appeared in the gloom...and then gradually disappeared again, revealing itself (with the help of my zoomy camera) as a kind of mirage caused by???? Well, we don't know! Extra rain or hail hurling itself on a little patch of water when a shaft of sunlight falls? Maybe. I've seen a lot of sea in my time but I've certainly never seen anything like it - it was ship shape and everything!

I give thanks for continuing my quest for the missing meds with finally...whilst composing a paragraph of complaint...a new date for delivery! I give thanks for being able to delete said grumbly sentences. I know I have so much to be grateful for but sometimes...just between you and me...I could wish things could be a little easier, you know?

Monday, 17 July 2017

Out patient

I give thanks for emerging scathed but still standing from the morning's skirmishes with the adversity of other people's agendas... For going back to sleep every time the aches and pains woke me up in the night so that though still sore and weary in spirit today I didn't feel too bodily fatigued.

I give thanks for getting so exasperated waiting for a delayed call about a delayed meds delivery I decided to go out in the sun for a while to chase the inner clouds away...and ended up walking so far I ended up where there were hardly any people, and could have a long peaceful sit down to recuperate from life's tangled tapestries as well as the trek. For the way when the crowds thin there's a sense you are sharing space not competing for it. For walking on the cool sand smoothed by retreating waves...

I give thanks for somehow getting back and getting the in town chores and shopping done afterwards though that did result in feeling seriously pained and drained... so I was grateful for the jolly souls encountered and a cab ride home as well.

For steering clear of hospitals (so far) after reading my horoscope for the first time in a while and seeing the warning 'Be wary of shortcuts and watch for inpatient speech and actions' 

Sunday, 16 July 2017

How To Fix Your Wife

I give thanks for a good long sleep last night. It's strange when you think about it that the part of your life you don't consciously participate in is so very vital. I give thanks though I was conscious of having had nightmares they were the mildly amusing kind that spring from an unusually inventive mind. In this case falling foul of a religious cult run from tea rooms by members easily mistaken for stalwarts of the WI...but in between the flowered china and pastel handled pastry forks were leaflets entitled 'How To Fix Your Wife' advocating total subservience to the male of the species, particularly their leaders, one of whom provided musical accompaniment on a banjo with an astonishingly lengthy neck. I really should consider therapy - I'm denying some psychiatric professional an interesting session or two!

I give thanks my buttocks and knees are confirming today what I suspected yesterday ie. walking up soft sand dunes with a loaded backpack might seem like a pleasurable activity but is actually quite hard physical labour! For remembering my twenty something year old self training for my 300 mile trek going up and down stairs with concrete in my rucksack. For remembering my twenty something self. Tell you a funny thing. When I do the Shiatsu I feel just like her again. I give a lot of thanks for that...

I give thanks for earplugs to facilitate meditation...and enjoying an enthralling book. For giving the sinks a vigorous scrub...and watching the white of a fluttering butterfly against the dark greens of the trees. For sending a thought of the Alhambra to someone. I wonder if they received it...

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Meadow sweet

I give thanks for getting my earplugs in snugly last night the better not to overhear one set of neighbours enjoying life on a summer's evening, another set not enjoying the first set enjoying themselves and the canine contingent vocalising their various views on a dog's life...

I give thanks for Mima offering a slight escape today taking me for a swapsies picnic lunch among the dunes including the traditional flask of tea and a seasoning of sand in the sandwiches. For the weather being more pleasant than the forecast had foretold but not so good we couldn't find a little spot on the beach for a quick paddle. For a swapsies session of some surplus non edible items afterwards...always pleasing to please yourself and other people this way.

I give thanks for the frangipane fragrance of fluffy meadowsweet, delighted to find several of probably my favourite hedgerow flowers blooming in the nature reserve...and then discovering a whole meadow of them! I've never seen so many together in my life!

I give thanks for a nap on the sofa, more leftovers heating up for my tea...and that I must have done a LOT of cooking earlier this week without really realising. For something new to try on TV tonight - a Spanish thriller on BBC and for a Nordic Noir novel I started this morning and could hardly put down if that doesn't hit the spot...

Friday, 14 July 2017

Another day

Um, ho hum...what to say today? I give thanks for an early night with no hypno videos (or biscuits) required! For an entertaining and interesting book about...psychopaths!

I give thanks for the sound of the drummer at his early morning practice. For not having anything too pressing to do today...apart from a bit of there's not been a lot of energy or enthusiasm to spare. For planning other things for other days with other people...

I give thanks for doing those Shiatsu stretches again yesterday and today...and that though the natives were a bit restless for successfully focussed meditation I did manage one round of something vaguely reminscent of a Salute to the Sun

I give thanks my little quick knitting project seems to be going OK. For trying not to do 'too much' at a time by being drawn into the ravelling mystery of multicoloured yarns revealing their pattern while watching good, but not riveting, tennis. For some nice things to eat I didn't have to cook as I'd cooked them another day...

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